The chandeliers on American Empress sway ever so slightly as the ship heaves along the mighty Columbia River, occasionally emitting a genteel tinkle, as if someone has run their fingers along the high keys of a piano. Out on the forward deck, trim white rocking chairs creak and nod. At the back of the ship, a great red paddlewheel turns with a rumble straight out of the history books. Its incessant somersaulting is mesmerising, flinging up water drops that glitter in the sunlight like tumbling diamonds.
I'm journeying down the Snake and Columbia rivers of the American frontier, and there couldn't be a better ship on which to do it. True, American Empress isn't actually driven by steam. Its two black funnels never puff smoke, and the great red paddle is more for show than locomotion. Still, I feel as if I'm in a movie: Maverick, perhaps, whose steamboat scenes were filmed on the Columbia River. My ship looks the part, with its lacy white balconies and flapping American flags. I expect to see gunslingers and corseted madams in the lounge.
The interior decor, completely refurbished in 2013, is a riot of gaudy Victoriana, all clashing carpets and wallpaper and delightful paintings of the Old West in gilt frames. Ceilings are pressed tin, lampshades properly frosted, brassware aglow. Black-and-white photos lining the corridor walls show old river steamers and ladies in crinolines posing against wild, romantic landscapes. In the lounge of an evening, the piano player tinkles the ivories with frontier tunes from the playbooks of yesteryear. Evening shows feature magic tricks and a singing cowboy. Yes, the Old West theme on American Empress gets a little carried away, but I'm loving it. Steamboat travel has a long history on this river, and it makes me feel as if I'm travelling in time as well as space.
Actually, the Victoriana theme falters in places. Oddly, the outdoor furnishings are rather contemporary and The Grill alternative restaurant has drab decor that would rival a three-star eighties motel. Cabins have some old-fashioned charm (glass lamps, flocked wallpaper, writing desk) but I'm happy with the espresso machine and doonas, too. Only the en-suite disappoints in its plastic-moulded, somewhat cramped presentation.
My cabin (number 205) is roomy enough and has two upright chairs that might suit Victorian spinsters. I prefer the more comfortable wooden armchairs on my balcony, where anyway I often want to be to in order to admire the passing scenery and gawk through the thoughtfully provided binoculars at eagles and herons. This is a good cabin to have, since not every cabin category has balconies, and those on the top deck have patios that open onto public space where ladies in Lycra are doing their morning deck laps. The location of these topmost cabins and adjacent The Grill prevents American Empress from having the wide-open top decks I'm used to on European river cruises, but guests can still walk around the circumference of the ship for exercise and scenery.
Passengers on this epic journey are nearly all American and retired – there are no facilities for children on the ship – and perhaps not as well travelled as the cruise passengers you meet in Europe. The dress code is rather relaxed; no shorts, T-shirts or sandals in the evening, but otherwise what the Americans call 'country-club casual' suffices. There are two seatings in the main restaurant, and later diners tend to more dressiness and cocktails, but there are no formal nights.
Breakfast and lunch can be had buffet style at The Grill or a la carte in the main dining room. The Grill is the reservations-only restaurant in the evening, but strangely the atmosphere is more relaxed, the service less formal and the décor more downmarket than the main restaurant. The Grill does, however, dish up good steaks and huge lobster tails.
In the main Astoria restaurant, evening meals unfold over four courses, generally starting with a soup (tomato-basil bisque, cream of mushroom), then invariably fresh salad, before a choice of three main courses and selection of desserts. It's decent, mainstream but somewhat uninventive dining: though I'm never disappointed nor surprised, I'm never really wowed either. But the food is good, and features many fresh ingredients from the Washington and Oregon states we're sailing through, which makes the salads – not to mention the breakfast berries, which I devour like a bear – a standout.
I often skip the soup and go easy on the mains, because the desserts are generous and feature American home-comfort dishes such as giant hunks of apple pie ('Cream with that?'), cherry cobbler and hummingbird cake, a cinnamon-flavoured banana and pineapple cake from the southern USA. Wine and beer is complimentary during meals, but pay-as-you go at other times. It's a pity mealtime drinks are light on local wines, which are excellent, but the ship's bar stocks some interesting Oregon gin, vodka and rum.
The restaurant space features more tinkling chandeliers and some fine, carved gilt beams, but is otherwise more subdued in its decor than the rest of the ship: airy, elegant, with plenty of natural light through big windows. American Empress' other main public space is its lounge, with walnut panels, stained glass, and that great red paddlewheel turning beyond the windows. It's rather quiet in the daytime, when most are off the ship, but livens up in the evenings over drinks and piano playing. It's about the only place for decent (and complimentary) WiFi connections, annoyingly spotty in my cabin. The ship also has a small library with a good collection of books on local history, and a theatre popular for its evening musical revues and comedies. The shows are hokey and old-fashioned but provide some of the best entertainment I've enjoyed on river-cruise ships anywhere, and the enthusiasm and talents of husband-and-wife creative pair and social hosts Greg and Lindy Pendzick create a lively vibe.
The theatre is also the venue for regular lectures on the region's history by coyly-named but very informative 'riverlorians' who have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the region's geography, and native American and early settler history. Most passengers are here because of their interest in pioneer history. The Snake and Columbia rivers were key to opening up the American West and central to the famous journey of explorers William Clark and Meriwether Lewis, who in 1804-06 trailblazed a route westwards to the Pacific Ocean.
The cruise itinerary has a large emphasis on this absorbing exploit and subsequent settler history. American Empress has a shuttle bus at every port stop that makes a loop around key sights, museums, pioneer buildings and interpretive centres. It's more do-it-yourself than I'm used to on river-cruise shore excursions elsewhere, but I quickly warm to the style. A guide gives an on-the-bus commentary, but passengers hop off where they choose and can take their time, focusing on sights that particularly interest them. This being America, helpful staff at attractions are usually on hand, and eager to chat. High service standards and friendliness are a hallmark of both America and American Empress, and one of this journey's greatest pleasures.
traveloregon.com
United Airlines flies from Melbourne to Los Angeles (15hr) or Sydney to San Francisco (14.5hr), with onward domestic connections to Spokane and Portland at either end of the cruise itinerary. Phone 131 777, see united.com
American Queen Steamboat Company operates nine-day Colombia and Snake river cruises on American Empress priced from $US 2649 ($3765) per person twin share, including meals and shore excursions. Some optional excursions incur an extra cost. Phone +1 888 749 5280, see americanqueensteamboatcompany.com
Extend your stay in Portland at the Benson Hotel, built in extravagant style 1912 in by a local timber baron; concierges have encyclopaedic knowledge of the city. Rooms from $US52 ($216) per night for two. Phone +1 503 228 2000, see coasthotels.com
American Empress itineraries start in Spokane in Washington State, which has a good airport, but you board the ship at Clarkston and disembark at Vancouver, also both in Washington. The Columbia River mostly follows the Washington-Oregon border; Vancouver is just across the river from Portland, Oregon's must-stay capital. Here are some of the journey's highlights.
• Scenery on the Snake River, which features basalt cliffs, worn-down volcanic landscapes and a dramatic dessert barrenness that changes to green forest, rolling countryside and misty scenery as the cruise progresses westwards down the Columbia River.
• The Columbia Gorge Interpretive Centre in the Oregon town of The Dalles, which gives an excellent account of the region's history and the achievements of Clark and Lewis. Its raptor centre looks after injured birds, allowing a close-up introduction to hawks and owls.
• Cycling along the river at Richland with the ship's complimentary bicycles. The peaceful town has expansive waterfront parkland lined by willows and chic condos. Other passengers opt for kayaking under the beady eyes of watchful herons.
• The Columbia Gorges, where great cliffs rear, pine forests shiver and, in the distance, you get the odd glimpse of snow-capped Mount Hood volcano. At Stevenson, wind funnels through the gorges, providing one of American's best kite-surfing spots; sails add cheerful colour to the wild scenery.
• The lovely town of Astoria on the lower reaches of the Columbia, almost on the Pacific Ocean. Victorian shingle mansions and pretty gardens stand on the hillside, and the surrounding countryside is lush and beautiful. A five-kilometre promenade runs along the river, now wide as a lake.
