Cruising: it's the fastest growing sector of the tourism industry; an all-engulfing phenomenon of tourists afloat, a buffet-eating, island-visiting, dinner-jacket-wearing juggernaut that's coming to a port near you.
And yet, some of us don't really "get" cruising. For a certain type of traveller the idea of being aboard a huge ship with 2000 of your closest friends has limited appeal. You picture the clichés, many of which I've listed above, and you figure you're just not cut out for cruising life.
For those people, however, there's good news (or bad). There are still cruises that will appeal to you. The industry still has ways of getting you out on the water, whether you're a backpacker, an adventure traveller or a nature lover. These are the cruises you should go on if you think you don't like cruises.
Note the terminology: these are not "cruises" but "expeditions", which tells you that this trip is going to be less about the breakfast buffet and more about the bonanza of wildlife and scenery that can be found every time you leave the ship – which, once you're in Antarctica, will be for about six hours a day. Any trip to the great southern continent will be an amazing one that you share with very few people. There are scientists on board giving lectures; nature docos are screened in the common rooms. It's not a cruise as you know it.
See: www.chimuadventures.com.au
This one is for the younger crowd, those who don't have the budget or the inclination to get on board one of those mega-ships full of families and oldies. BusAbout's Sail Croatia trips (and Sail Turkey trips, for that matter) are ridiculously popular with backpackers, because they're ridiculously fun: a whole bunch of travellers on a boat in some of the most beautiful waters in the world, with nothing to do but hang out in the sun and enjoy it. Not much sleep is had on these trips.
See: www.busabout.com
It's not stylish, and it's not particularly comfortable. There's no on-board casino, no performing ventriloquist, no games of shuffleboard and no buffet. If you take a mail boat in the Bahamas, you're on board what's essentially a floating delivery van, ferrying supplies from the capital of Nassau to out-islands like the Exumas and the Abacos. But this is a truly great way to see the Caribbean, hanging out with the local Bahamian crew, sharing their food and whatever other island substances they're carrying, and having a proper adventure. It's also extremely cheap.
See: www.bahamas.com
This is taking the cruising concept to its smallest possible degree, given you're in a boat that you share with only one other person, and you have to paddle the thing yourself. But given the choice between a traditional ocean cruise, or the spending a few days and nights canoeing on Clearwater Lake in British Columbia, Canada, camping by night on its spotless shores, and watching out for bears and eagles as you paddle by day, I'd go with the latter every day of the week.
See: www.skihike.com
This is like going on a safari, only you're on water. In the Amazon. The days are similarly paced. You awake in your cabin at dawn, jump in a small boat and begin cruising the waterways in search of monkeys, birdlife, big snakes and river dolphins. Then you get back to the main boat for breakfast, before heading out for more exploring. Eat lunch, relax, and then, later, take a sunset expedition in search of more wildlife. And it doesn't hurt that you get to come back each time to a super-luxurious riverboat like the Delfin.
See: www.chimuadventures.com.au
The most fun you can have boating, in my opinion, is when you're doing the boating yourself. Aboard your own yacht, preferably. On the Mediterranean. And you don't even need any expertise to make that happen. Companies such as Sun Sail offer flotilla sailing trips, in which you spend the first week of your trip getting to know the ropes – literally – of a yacht, before spending the second week sailing the Turkish or Croatian or Greek or Italian Med in a flotilla. Much more fun than letting someone else drive.
See: www.sunsail.com
This is much like the mail boat experience in the Bahamas, though far more reliable and upmarket. The Hurtigruten boats are working freighters that call in to port after port as they cruise up and down the Norwegian coastline, though they're also very well set up for carrying passengers, who are treated to great food, comfortable accommodation, and some of the most spectacular scenery in the world. There are tour leaders on board – but this doesn't feel like a typical tour.
See: www.hurtigruten.com
It's super dorky, but ever since I saw Rick Stein and his dog Chalky cruising the French waterways in their own river-barge, stopping in little villages, eating great food and drinking plenty of wine along the way, I've wanted to give it a bash myself. And it is possible – there are numerous companies that offer the hire of these long, lumbering watercraft. Food, wine, and Jack Russells have to be sourced separately.
See: www.franceafloat.com
Have you taken an "alternative" style of cruise before? What are you favourites? Leave a comment below.
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See also: The 15 inescapable truths of travel
See also: How travel can change you for life
