A real man can't let his 10-year-old son see him refuse a challenge from a fish taco. "Extra Spicy If You Dare", the sign says. "Go on Dad!" the kid says. "Don't be an idiot," the wife says. And so now I have to eat a taco garnished with a salsa described as "Volcano" hot. The guys behind the counter smile smugly as I engage in a Mexican standoff with my lunch. 'You think you're so tough with your crisp corn shell, fresh guacamole and spicy salsa. Well, screw you, taco!' And I bite into it. Cue pride in kid's eyes, tears in mine, wife rolling hers.
Cruise ships generally try to not to injure their passengers. But this hasn't stopped P&O including 'Volcano' as the hottest of five salsa spice choices at Mexicana, one of the eight new bespoke restaurants that comprise their new dining model, collectively called 'The Pantry'.
P&O's Pacific Jewel has undergone a multi-million dollar refit and the archetypal buffet that has been the staple of casual cruise ship dining for so long is no more. Gone are the serve-yourself trays piled high with pizza triangles, lasagne squares and jelly cubes. Gone are the pushy queues and predictable offerings. Passengers are ordering meals rather than building stacks and there is a more genteel, sophisticated dining atmosphere.
The Pantry – under the guidance of ruddy-cheeked Head Chef Uwe Stiefel – is the latest in the culinary one-upmanship being waged as industry players compete for their slice of the rapidly-expanding Australian market.
Uwe has seen it all in his 25 years of cooking at sea and is thrilled with this innovation. "The Pantry is a reflection of a world-wide cultural shift and changing palates," he says. "The changes we have made reflect the informal nature of dining in Australia and we think we are ahead of the game. This was a really drastic change for us, effectively launching eight new restaurants overnight, so we are pleased it has been received so well."
And it has. Most of the passengers I speak to are impressed with The Pantry. Almost everything is now cooked to order, mostly prepared on board from scratch. There are now twice the number of dishes compared to the old-style buffet and 30 per cent less waste.
Menus undergo daily tweaks – except for the standards like fish and chips and burgers – so variety is not a problem. Lunch today at the Curry House, for example, is a choice of butter chicken, chana masala, Malaysian beef and aloo gobi, along with a range of chutneys, rices and raitas. The Asian cuisine at Stix consists of beef, chicken and vegie stir fries, along with a laksa and a dumpling soup, while Fat Cow is knocking out beef, pork, ham and chicken to carnivores who aren't offended by standing next to a sign that says Fat Cow. Kettle & Bun has sandwiches, salads and soup and those self-satisfied chilli purveyors at Mexicana are building tacos and enchiladas to order. Pastries and cakes are available from Sugar Bar and you can wash it all down with coffee, beer, wine and other libations from Coffee Bar.
The modern beach house decor of The Pantry is another improvement on the cafeterias of yore. It looks like a bistro but there is actually more seating than before, thanks to a clever design layout by Tillberg Design of Sweden. There are still some cafeteria-style tables but these have been joined by booths, lounge chairs, high stools and banquettes, and a feature wall filled with seaside trinkets and collectibles.
There are nominal extra charges for some of the offerings – $3 for the burgers and $15 for a bucket of prawns for example – but it's well worth it.
P&O's rebranded Pacific Eden and Pacific Aria will also have The Pantry, tweaked for improvements as they watch how passengers adapt to the vanguard offering on Pacific Jewel. Eden and Aria will rendezvous with their three sisters – Pacific Jewel, Pacific Pearl and Pacific Dawn – for a P&O-fest in Sydney Harbour in November to celebrate the expanded fleet.
Pacific Jewel's gastronomic encounters – and big personalities – don't end with Uwe and The Pantry. German chef Alex Kaeck is responsible for the most sumptuous meal of the cruise – the Chef's Table Dinner – held in a private room in the Waterfront Restaurant known as the Wine Room. Alex meets us for preview canapes in the Orient Bar and makes no attempt to dampen expectations. "I promise you will remember this meal like your first kiss." This is just the beginning of Alex's epicurean flirt-fest, which lasts all the way to dessert.
The larger-than-life chef combines witty anecdotes and hilariously lame jokes throughout the seven course degustation. "I hope you are ready," he booms as the entree arrives. "When the critics ate here, they all wanted to marry me."
The highlights are a sculptured skyline of carved fresh vegetables, chicken broth topped with a perfectly baked pie crust, zesty salmon confit and a multi-spiced Moroccan lamb. Every morsel is created from scratch and the dishes are all light and flavoursome.
Sommelier Jignesh "Call me Jiggy" pairs wines with the courses and brings his own brand of subcontinental humour to the delightful affair. The experience is all the better for gettin' Jiggy wit' it.
The Chef's Table Dinner attracts a $95 tariff but the food and the Alex and Jiggy show are certainly value for money. Vegetarian, pescatarian and other alternatives are available if you let Alex know your desires in advance. Four Chef's Table chocolate extravagances are waiting back in our cabin when we retire – a thoughtful finale to an exceptional feast.
We also enjoy very tasty meals at two more specialty restaurants. Luna – which rotates a Thai and Japanese theme throughout the cruise – and Salt grill by Luke Mangan, where the highlights are tempura prawns in sesame and wasabi and scotch fillet steak with truffle infused mash. Salt is conveniently located just a short waddle from the gym.
On our final day at sea we enjoy High Tea on the high seas at Salt. Exotic teas – Indian rooibos and Japanese genmaicha among them – plus a glass of sparkling wine and delectable bite-sized savoury and sweet treats combine to create this hardly necessary but thoroughly appetising extra meal.
P&O has also made a change to their traditional theme night and introduced Bianco and Gatsby parties. Bianco features white cocktails, white smoke, white lighting and white outfits. Guests love it and the pool-side party rolls well into the wee small hours. Gatsby also promises to be 'great' and passengers can join in the flapper culture and channel their inner Jay and Daisy with 1920s music and the Charleston under a chandelier in the atrium.
We also get to see the world premiere of the high-energy song and dance show Off the Charts, which is as visually stunning as Bianco but more colourful. Eight talented and incredibly fit young triple-threats tread the boards and perform exuberant numbers backed by eye-catching LED screen content. Off the Charts will also form part of the entertainment mix aboard Pacific Aria and Pacific Eden.
TRIP NOTES
MORE INFORMATION
pocruises.com.au
CRUISING THERE
From November, P&O Cruises will operate five ships out of Australian ports to various destinations, including Pacific Island, Asian and Australian and New Zealand getaways. Fares are dependent on route, stateroom and length of cruise etc. For more information and bookings contact a licensed travel agent or P&O Cruises on 13 24 94.
AQUA HEALTHSPAFITNESS
The Spa's Thermal Suites are not cool, and nor should they be. Zones – ranging from warm to searing – include an ocean view sauna, steam room, meditation room and tropical shower room. The most popular Spa treatments are a detox and slimming session, massages, wraps and teeth whitening. Gym junkies are well catered-for and there's also a Boot Camp.
EDGE ADVENTURE PARK
Climb the funnel, bungy jump or take the flying fox across the top deck just so you can say you have. Edge offers 20 adrenalin-pumping activities including a Titanic Moment, high rope swings, slack lines and Segway obstacle courses. You can even 'Walk the Plank' out to the edge of the ship.
KIDS' STUFF
Toilet-trained two-year-olds can now join the Turtle Cove club, one of four age grouped clubs included in the cruise fare. All passengers can drive the Racing Car Simulators, kids aged 11-17 can make their own animated movies and 15 to 17 year-olds can form bands and play with a keyboard, guitar, drums and amps before putting on their own concert in the show lounge.
PIZZA AND THE FOOTY
Newly-installed pizza ovens mean you can order 'home delivery' to your cabin or to the top deck where you can munch while watching a movie or NRL and AFL matches on the big screen. 'Big' in this case means a four metre by seven metre LED screen with a 63,000 watt sound system.
PANDORA SHOP
The well-known jewellery brand joined Pacific Jewel's retail line-up in June. Lots of cruising and ocean-themed items. At duty-free prices, it's a charm!
