"It's easy to love a country known for its chocolate and beer," Barack Obama observed during his first visit to Belgium last year. Well put, Mr President. But you failed to mention Belgium's art, culture, fashion, cities and villages and, at the risk of sounding prosaic, its chips. Forget about the French and their fries, Belgian friets are the world's best.
Yes, there is much to love about Belgium, but too often its charms are overlooked.
Case in point: My introduction to Belgium came on the Uniworld's Tulips and Windmills river cruise. It is a 10-day voyage from Amsterdam to Antwerp that not only delivers the promise of the title, but also covers Belgium's beauty spots: the Baroque art cites of Antwerp, Bruges, Ghent and Brussels. Yet no mention of the B-word in the title (although to be fair, tulips and windmills and beautiful Baroque Belgium is a mouthful.)
The cruise is the travelling world's introduction to the SS Maria Theresa, Uniworld's newest supership. While opulent is the word that best describes all 14 ships in Uniworld's European fleet, each is unique. Toni Tollman, the fleet's interior designer, explains: "With each of our ships we design the interiors to reflect the countries they are travelling through, so our guests have an immersive 24-hour experience of what they are seeing and doing."
Given the SS Maria Theresa's itineraries, she had to be a Baroque castle, says Tollman, who is part of the family that owns Uniworld.
"During the Baroque era the art was in the craftsmanship. It was all about moulding, gilding, carving, etching, painting, hand-made furniture, woven fabrics, and carpets and vast wall murals.
"Finding craftsmen and artisans with those skills in this age of mass production was so difficult. We searched the globe."
The glittering lobby is the first sign Tollman succeeded in her quest. Hand-cut antique mirrors cover the walls, delicate outlines of coronets are etched into marble floor tiles. The ceiling is embellished with a trompe l'oeil mural, the balustrade finished with 24-carat gold leaf, and a Murano chandelier and an 18th-century portrait of the ship's namesake, Archduchess Maria Theresa, the ruler of the Habsburg Empire at the end of the Baroque era, complete the picture.
The opulence continues through the public spaces – the Habsburg Lounge has five vast painted murals of 18th-century rural scenes – and into the 64 staterooms and 11 suites, decorated in burnished golds, soft greys and royal blues. The bedrooms have canopy or four-poster beds by the English company Savoir, reputedly the world's best bed-maker, and the suites have woven carpets and handmade silk wallpaper.
The decor might reference times past but the onboard creature comforts belong to today: in-floor heating in marble bathrooms, televisions that drop down from ceilings or disappear into mirrors, and keypads that control lighting and operate French balconies and open-air windows with a flick of a switch. The Wi-Fi signal is strong across the ship, and it is free, which is standard across the Uniworld fleet. (Tours, gratuities, food, and alcohol are also included in the tariff.)
The ship has a spa, an interior pool, cinema, laundry and a gym. My nod to fitness is the daily yoga class, and walking tours at each destination.
It's a tough call but the Bar du Leopard gets the vote for my favourite place. Expansive views, soft soothing hues, padded sofas, a thoughtful collection of books and a well-stocked bar with attentive bar staff – what more could anyone ask for? A light lunch perhaps, especially after chocolate croissants at breakfast. Being both an early riser and jet-lagged, I'm also a dawn attendee at the Viennese cafe, the first 24-hour cafe on Uniworld ships.
Food and drink is an integral part of the experience Uniworld promises. Fresh produce is loaded on board during the voyage. Each meal, be it the buffet breakfast or lunch or afternoon tea in the Habsburg Lounge or the multi-course silver-service dinner in the Baroque Restaurant, offers regional specialities. Just before dinner, the on-board wine sommelier updates us on what local wines will be served.
Not surprisingly, the most popular of the onboard programs is a masterclass on Belgian beer by Anneke Rijkers, a beer sommelier and brewer from Antwerp. Of course, it helps that the attentive bar staff make sure our glasses are continually topped up so we're across what style of brew Anneke is discussing.
Uniworld boasts the highest staff-to-guest ratio of the European river cruise lines, with 60 staff to 150 guests on the SS Maria Theresa. Across the ship, the service manages to strike that balance between attentive and friendly without tipping over into obsequiousness. Staff training is supervised by Red Carnation Hotels, another of the Tollman family companies. The suites' butlers, impeccable in morning suits and white gloves, are trained at London's Spencer Butler School.
The Tulips and Windmills itinerary is a good example of why travellers, including we Aussies, have embraced river cruising. Given that both The Netherlands and Belgium are criss-crossed by canals, waterways and rivers, the SS Maria Theresa is more often than not tied up at our destination. In Amsterdam, it's a stroll to the city centre, ditto Rotterdam, Dordrecht, and Nijmegen, the oldest city in the Netherlands. In Belgium, we dock at Ghent and in Antwerp beside the Parish of Misery, the docklands area that looks anything but miserable today, bustling with cafes, bars and studios.
As might be expected in the home of the Baroque genius Peter Paul Rubens, art is a feature of the three excursions offered in Antwerp. I opt for the Do as the Locals Do tour that promises masterpieces by Rubens, a tasting of masterpieces by star Belgian chocolatier Dominique Persoone, a meander along the Meir, the epicentre of Antwerp's diamond and retail trade, and a subway ride. I concede the last item pales into insignificance beside the rest of the itinerary but it is what locals do every day and I have an inkling that it might end at the Antwerp Central railway station. I'm not disappointed. It is truly one of the world's finest stations.
But, if I'm being honest, the clincher is the promise of chips at one of the best fritkots (fries stalls) in Antwerp. The Belgian people, all 11 million of them give or take a baby or two, are obsessed with their chips – thickly cut, double-cooked, salted well, served in a paper cone with a dollop of mayo. Such is their fervour that a campaign for the nation's 4000 fritkots be placed on UNESCO's World-Heritage list has nationwide support. (A movement I wholeheartedly support after my day doing what the locals do.)
We did have to coach it to Bruges from Ghent but it's no hardship. The 40-minute ride allows Max, Uniworld's specialist city guide, to give us his take on his country. His quirky, humorous spiel transforms scenery into a country with a beating heart. Max also provides a clue as to why Belgium's charms are overlooked. "The Belgian people hate boasting, and in that we are our own worst enemies. We never talk up anything about our country, except for our food, especially our fries and mussels," he says.
Bruges, the capital of West Flanders, doesn't need talking up. It is the stuff of picture books, with cobblestone streets, canals, bridges, squares, market places, gabled houses, and its UNESCO-listed belfry.
Bruges also boasts a treasure no other city can claim: Michelangelo's Madonna and Child. The white marble sculpture, the only work of the Italian genius to leave Italy during his lifetime, lives in the 13th-century Church of Our Lady, itself a jewel.
"Our Madonna is quite small, but I promise you won't be disappointed. She is so beautiful and very special," explains our personable guide.
He could have been talking about the whole of Belgium, a country that should not be overlooked.
www.visitbelgium.com
www.uniworldcruises.com.au
The SS Maria Theresa sails the 10-day Tulips and Windmills cruise from Amsterdam to Antwerp and vice versa from March and April 2016. From $5559 a person, including gratuities, meals, beverages, excursions and internet access. The ship also sails the 15-day European Jewels itinerary and a selection of Christmas market voyages. See www.uniworldcruises.com.au.
The tulips of the cruise's title are the seven million in the Keukenhof Gardens, an hour from Amsterdam. Blooming beautiful. The windmills of Kinderdijk, near Rotterdam, are equally photogenic.
Tourist numbers top seven million in Amsterdam annually, which means the city's standout cultural attractions, the Van Gogh Museum and the Rijksmuseum, are always crowded. The doors of Van Gogh Museum open early for Uniworld passengers and the guide employed by the cruise line for the Rijksmuseum is both an expert on the museum's great works and avoiding the multitudes.
A small group of us jumped ship for dinner in Dordrecht, an island town with a youthful student vibe in The Netherland on the Maas river. The SS Maria Theresa's concierge, Dragan Cobanovic, organised a booking at a terrific Indonesian restaurant and we were back on board for a rollicking performance by a Dutch shanty choir.
Forget its reputation; Brussels is not boring. How could a city that spawned Tin Tin, the Smurfs and have as its mascot a statue of a naked boy peeing be boring? Then there is the Grand Place, Europe's most beautiful town square.
The morning is spent tracing Vincent Van Gogh's footsteps in the Dutch village of Nuenen, where he lived for two years with his family. The afternoon is spent at the Kroller-Muller Museum that holds the second largest collection of the tortured genius' paintings.
See also: The best river cruises for 2015-16: Our guide
