2016 best family holidays: From epic slides to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade

The day the kids went back to school was the best day of my life. OK, that's an exaggeration. And perhaps a tad unkind. But you know what it's like.

You can't wait for the first day of summer holidays to spend time with your perfect children, with their eager eyes and wide smiles. Then, after seven weeks of fun and frivolity, you're all frayed around the edges.

Who are these tattered wretches, and why are they calling me Mum?

Sadly, parents have the attention spans of goldfish. (This is a scientific fact.) So, by the end of Term One, we'll want to do it all over again. After all, we need something to look forward to. To keep the family together, right?

Here's some cool new stuff for families in 2016:

The ArcelorMittal Orbit Slide The thought of this makes me vomit in my mouth. But for teens, it's "epic". Starting at almost 80 metres off the ground, the world's longest and tallest tunnel slide is opening this year at London's Olympic Park. It spirals around the tower five times before you reach the ground. (Just make sure they don't have bangers and mash beforehand...)

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter Confession – we're huge fans of Hermione in our household. So we're taking our spoiled brats – I mean, delightful children – to Universal Studios in Los Angeles in early April to visit Hogwarts Castle and Hogsmeade, and ride the park's first outdoor roller coaster, Flight of the Hippogriff. If they misbehave, I shall cast a spell on them. Expelliarmus!

Carnival Cruise Line In an episode of The Simpsons, Bart pretends there's a pandemic on land so the family's "cruise vacation of a lifetime" can go on forever. "Thanks to you, we're having fun," Homer says. "Before-we-had-kids fun!" This is how you'll feel on the Carnival Vista, launching this year. It has an IMAX cinema, 140-metre water tube slide, and suspended open-air SkyRide.

Grand Hotel du-Cap-Ferrat on the French Riviera In the years BC (Before Children), hubby and I stayed in a one-star hotel in this enclave, inhabited by the rich and famous. We were neither. But we loved this ancient village, perched on a peninsula, halfway between Monaco and Nice. Now, the legendary Grand Hotel in St-Jean-Cap-Ferrat has been taken over by Four Seasons, with a new kids' club. Deep green forests, azure seas, and pink sunsets: Doesn't get better than that.

Larapinta Town Camp Bush Tucker Garden Departing from Alice Springs in April, this six-day trip includes two days of "voluntourism'' on a community project to restore an Indigenous community's edible and medicinal garden. Run by World Expeditions, this is his is best for families with offspring in their late teens or 20s, as you'll be walking six to sixteen kilometres a day. What a wonderful way to give back.

Before we know it, the Easter holidays will be here, then we'll be on that familiar countdown until school starts again. Such is the merry-go-round of parenting.

[email protected]