Best weekend getaways in Victoria: From Grampians ECO YHA to Feathertop Chateau

See http://www.parkstay.vic.gov.au

PAUL BANGAY THE FARMHOUSE

Don't have a green thumb? Can't even cope with the small backyard of an inner-city abode? If you love the look of well-landscaped gardens, but haven't got one yourself, why not stay in legendary garden designer Paul Bangay's own? Most rooms of The Farmhouse look out onto the incredible gardens and surrounding mountains. It's off the beaten track but not too far from Melbourne – clocking in at around 10 minutes from spa and foodie delight Daylesford. Book in for a time to walk around Bangay's country residence, Stonefields, just 100 metres from where you'll be sleeping. Love cooking? Give it a whirl in The Farmhouse's open-plan kitchen – Stephanie Alexander has, and has given it her stamp of approval. Visitors are encouraged to get active on social media by tagging photos with #paulbangay & #stonefields (but you can wait until you get home, can't you?).

See http://www.dayget.com.au/Paul-Bangay-The-Farmhouse; 03 5348 4422

Weekends (two nights) from $1420

GRAMPIANS ECO YHA

Halls Gap is a little nook of a place itself, and just on the edge of the town is Grampians Eco YHA. As well as travellers, hikers and rock climbers, regular visitors include roos, native birds and friendly possums. It's a private spot with a "get back to nature" vibe with chooks, herb gardens and an outdoor barbecue area with a fire pit. You're going to be sharing this place with people from all over the world, and there's free Wi-Fi, so you can still be connected, but head out on the nearby walking tracks for some isolation with views.

See https://www.yha.com.au/hostels/vic/regional-victoria/grampians-halls-gap/; 03 5356 4544

Weekends (two nights) from $162

MOUNT STURGEON HOMESTEAD AND COTTAGES AT ROYAL MAIL HOTEL

The word "homestead" might remind you of the middle of the Northern Territory, but you can get that Australia (remember the movie? It wasn't  that bad ...) feeling here, outside Dunkeld, an hour from Halls Gap. Settle yourself on the verandah of six-bedroom, four-bathroom Mount Sturgeon Homestead, which is part of a working sheep station, and you'll see the Grampians National Park before you. Hungry? Chefs and wait staff from a local pub – OK, the rather special Royal Mail Hotel – can provide an in-house dining service.  The luxury one- or two-bedroom cottages 10 metres away do not have televisions or telephones, making it almost impossible not to unwind.

See http://www.royalmail.com.au/mt-sturgeon/cottages/; 03 5577 2241

Weekends (two nights) from $630

ST JEROMES – THE HOTEL

Here you are, looking up at the bright, city-lit sky feeling as isolated as can be. Your home is a tent. The air around you is buzzing with a sound that isn't cicadas, leaves smacking together in the wind, or boughs breaking; it's the sound of a city that seems filled with exhaust fans. You imagine the sound is waves crashing and get lulled to sleep. Yes, sleeping in a tent on the emergency evacuation area on top of Melbourne Central ticks isolation. (Except, of course, if the centre is actually evacuated and 300 or so people suddenly appear.) And if you want a reminder of just how odd (and exhilarating) this experience is, just escape through Melbourne Central in the early hours with your suitcase as the commuters and shopkeepers start rushing in.

See http://www.stjeromesthehotel.com.au; 0412 951 815

Weekends (two nights) from $720

UPPER MURRAY RESORT

Fancy some "up the creek without a paddle" fun? Almost five hours from Melbourne is Upper Murray Resort, a joint actively promoting a "digital detox" (though Telstra 3G & 4G sneaks into the cabins). So what is the "up the creek"? Well, the team drops guests off up the river with canoes or lilos, and, yes, off you go. You can also do an overnight canoe adventure ($150 per canoe). It's canoeing season again in October, but winter's catered for too, as cabins have private spas and wood fires. You're surrounded by 180 acres of bushland, though non-bushy activities include golf, tennis and swimming (there are two pools). It's between Walwa and Jingellic (no, I've never heard of them either).

See http://www.uppermurrayresort.com.au; 02 6037 1226

Weekends (two nights) from $400

MT STIRLING ALPINE WINTER CAMP

Yes, you can ski in and ski out of your accommodation at villages like Falls Creek, but how about a ski-in ski-out campsite? Private (free) camping is already permitted on Mount Stirling, with basic refuge huts with wood heaters dotted around the slopes, however skiers who like their camping a little more organised (and like to carry less) can try Alpine Winter Camp. It's at an elevation of 1500 metres so expect snow in winter. You need to bring your clothes, sleeping bag and food, though you can pre-order meals four days beforehand. Ski in (it's around 4 kilometres from the centre) and you'll find your two-bunk tent's all set up for you. There's a communal tepee and a potbelly stove to warm yourself by. It's designed to be warm: the tents (there are seven of them) are on raised platforms with insulated flooring.

See http://www.stirlingexperience.com.au/accommodation/alpine-camp/; 03 5777 6441

Weekends (two nights) (4 person) from $260

FEATHERTOP CHATEAU

Still near the snow – one hour from Falls Creek and Mr Hotham – is a spot with its own helipad. Oh, and heated pool and private driver and BMW X5 on request. The house itself has stunning views and accommodates 10 people in "absolute luxury". Being situated in wine country (there's 24 hectares of vines growing next door), the home wouldn't be complete without a fully stocked wine cellar of Estate wine and, wow, a sommelier available to take you through it. Tough.

See http://www.luxehouses.com.au/holiday-house/feathertop-chateau/; 0423 786 806

 Weekends (2 nights) $5600, though there's a minimum 7-night stay.

PAYNE'S HUT

With mottos including: "Tune in to nature," and: "Reconnect, unplugged", you get the feeling that time at Payne's Hut near Omeo in Gippsland will not include iPad time. You may even want to leave your watch behind and consider living by the rising of the sun and the tweeting of the birds (no, we're not talking Twitter). The actual hut was built by German carpenters for hay storage but is a bit of a treat these days, with a queen bed stacked with lovely linen, a gas heater to keep you warm and a private balcony. You can also take up a "sleep under the stars" option on an outdoor bed overlooking the property. Swags are available on request, too. Bliss.

See http://payneshut.com/remote-accommodation-victoria/; 03 5159 7255

Weekends (two nights) $360

ROTTEN POINT HOUSE

"Yeah, I'm heading down to Rotten Point for the weekend." It's certainly got a ring to it. But what you'll find is a four-bedroom Nicholas Burns & Associates-designed house made mostly of aesthetically pleasing rammed earth and glass. Walls of windows look out over  40 hectares of bushland and Johanna, one of Victoria's best surf beaches. The modern four-bedroom abode has electric in-slab heating, rainwater for drinking, as well as wireless internet and satellite TV. Though with a view like that, will you really be looking at a screen?

See http://www.rottenpointhouse.com; 03 5237 1098

Weekends (two nights) $1330

THE POLE HOUSE

No list on "isolated places to stay" is complete without an appearance by the Pole House. This house on a pole (literally, it's a square house perched on a pole) sits 40 metres above Fairhaven Beach. It's been a curiosity for travellers hitting the Great Ocean Road since its arrival in the 1970s. Franco Fiorentini from F2 Architecture redesigned it recently, bringing it up to speed and, thankfully, popping the loo on the inside (you used to have to walk the plank back to another building). Warning: it's heavily booked, and kids can't stay.

See http://www.greatoceanroadholidays.com.au; 03 5220 0200

Weekends (two nights) $1300