One afternoon I bumped into the guy who had directed me to my guest house, the English guy Dave. He told me he was representing a Chinese tailor’s shop and would stand on the busy street trying to lure customers into the shop. I told him my situation and he suggested I should work for the same tailors. So for the next two days I stood out on Nathan Rd like a sore thumb yelling at anyone who passed by that I had the best damn suits in Hong Kong and that Chinese tailors were the best in the world.
This job was strictly commission and try as I might, I had no customers for two days. The third day I worked till lunchtime and said, “That’s it, I quit.” Dave was very keen to keep me because being a devout Christian he wanted to help people and carried that Christian faith into his salesmanship.
In fact, one of the most amazing stories involved Dave. He told me that a few months earlier a Canadian who he had met a year ago was returning to Hong Kong and wanted to visit. Dave invited him to dinner that night and although he had no money told his Filipino wife to use everything in the fridge and pantry and make some kind of dinner. He told me he just went to work without worries because he knew the Lord would provide.
Now I’m not religious so I’m thinking yeah, yeah your wife cooked dinner big deal. But Dave told me he caught a fish. “Oh Dave that’s awesome, you went fishing?” I said excitedly. “No,” he said, “I was working on Nathan Rd as usual and it was busy with people and traffic, when this truck with tanks of live fish drove past. One of the fish flipped over the side and was flipping around on the road. Suddenly the lights go red, the traffic stopped and the truck kept going. I was standing there with this fish right in front of me, so I ran out into Nathan Rd and picked it up. I carried it into the tailors shop and they told me it was worth about HK$400 (US$53)!!!”
Dave told me God had provided for him and his friend because he had faith. If he believes that, good for him. I just think the driver of the truck should put a lid on his tanks in future.
So I had wasted three more days and not made a cent. I had heard the Bengali who ran the guest house also ran a language school so I approached him. He was more than happy to get me started at his school part time which was located a mile away near Ya Ma Tei in Kowloon. The evening of my first class was a trip because when I showed up he told me to pick up a book from the shelf and figure out what I was going to teach. Is he serious? I’m going on in 15 minutes and he wants me to ad-lib to a class of strangers.
Anyway I had four very nice Chinese ladies who tried hard to understand but were shy when it came to speaking. They had these handy little translation machines as well as dictionaries. I tried all kinds of tactics to get them to open up, but finally realised that when it comes to spewing about yourself no one comes close to a westerner.
One of my questions was: “What would you do if you just won the lottery?”
Chan answered, “I put money in bank.”
“No Chan,” I said, “how would you spend it?”
She looked at me a little confused.
“I mean would you buy a new car or a new house,” I asked.
“I buy new house.” said Chan.
“Very good Chan, and where is your new house?”
“On my street.” she said.
“Where would you go for dinner?”
“I go to restaurant.”
“What kind of restaurant?”
“Chinese restaurant.”
“What would you eat?”
“I eat rice.”
“Who would you take? Anyone famous?”
“I take my family.”
“Would you wear any new clothes?”
“I wear my clothes.”
Are you starting to get the picture? Ask a Californian and like, oh my God! They’d be talking overtime. I did the English teaching for a week or so but the guy could not give me many hours so I had to make a solid break and look for something else.
It was during one of my forays into clubland in Lan Kwai Fong that I saw a lady in a striped waistcoat standing outside a Lebanese restaurant called Beirut. Since they looked open I went to check them out. Nervously asking for a job, I told the manager that I hadn’t worked in a restaurant before. I had meant to lie, but he reeked of experience and I just mumbled I was willing to work hard. Joseph sighed, took a deep breath and looked away. He then looked back and said, “You start on Thursday.”
Unbefrigginleivable!!!! A job and two free meals a day. I had finally started on my long climb out of Hong Kong.
