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Hurtling Through Space and Time, I Have Stared Death in It’s Ugly Maw

TIME : 2016/2/27 14:52:03


In reference to my previous observation about travel in India, let me just say, without appearing vainglorious, that you are lucky that there is still a Craig to be typing this. Why? Let’s just say that Magic Mountain holds no thrill for me now. After hurtling through the dark at 95 miles per hour, sitting in a straight-back chair situated behind a plate glass window – that is the essence of Indian night bus travel.

The standard modus operandi for a driver:

  • pass on every blind curve
  • drive motorcycles off the road
  • hit and kill at least one dog
  • be an intriguing blend of mild retardation, amphetamines and rage
  • spend most of your time with your head out the window, drooling the narcotizing betel juice on the side of the bus
  • blow the horn once for each heartbeat
  • feel free to doze at the wheel, but if you should get too sleepy, do something terrifying so that the adrenaline gives you a nice, heady lift.

    Needless to say, I won’t be taking another night bus. I’d rather walk. The entire trip was like that instant where you fall asleep and have a full body muscular contraction, like you are falling inward. I woke up several times with headlights directly in my eyes, not to the right where they should have been.

    Sleep didn’t actually happen on this particular journey. It was a good lesson in handling fear, though: When there isn’t much you can do in a certain situation, just sit back and watch; it’s better than ulcerating for 9 hours. So friends, night dive with the sharks, bungee jump from a bridge – just don’t do anything rash, like take a night bus in India.