Act Two. Drapes cover windows again, lights dim, background music changes from Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” to something much more modern. Kliegs hit the door, which opens to reveal Erika and Hiro in modern dress, Erika in a beautiful cherry red, puffy-sleeved Prom dress-like creation, with matching gloves and hair doodads (Jean’s description), Hiro in a swallowtail morning coat. Pause. Photo op. Beautiful. The newlyweds are escorted to their place at the head table, and the second round of speeches begins. I get my chance.
My nerves somewhat calmed by a glass of medicinal beer, I manage to read my prepared speech. In fact, I am rather moved by my words. I mention my school’s pivotal role in the meeting of these two fine young people, and point out that this is just one of the fringe benefits of a Snow College education. (A full text of the speech is available on request.) I sit down to mild applause, and we are all treated to a reading of a translated version of the speech. Dang! Sounds good in Japanese, too.
After the second rank of speakers had their say, Hiro got up and thanked all the people who were responsible for how he and Erika turned out. Parents, families, teachers, everybody got named. The grandparents were thanked and even a deceased relative of Erika’s was honored. The tribute to the family members was actually one of the most moving parts of the whole affair. It was obviously heartfelt and sincere. Hankies all round.
Because the whole production was so seamless and ran with no apparent hitches, it might be easy to claim superficiality for a lot of what was said during this and other parts of the party. I got the feeling that the elaborate preparations made it possible for the participants to be more sincere in what they said and did. Without the distractions of incomplete preparations or sloppy execution, the participants were able to concentrate on what was important to them. I was – still am – impressed.
With the salute to their families, Act Two came to an end. Erika was taken from the room by her father for her last costume change. Hiro was left at the head table to do groom stuff, and the noise level began to increase as the accumulated effects of the drinks and emotions of Act 2 began to work their magic. The eating continued, of course, and now we were getting into the cooked stuff: the beef and lobster, among other things. Glasses were not allowed to be empty for longer than it took to pick up a bottle of something. The Young Turks from Hiro’s office at the table behind us began to contribute a major portion to the noise level. At some point, Hiro left the room. Act Three was about to begin.
We’re ready now; we know what to expect. Lights dim, all eyes turn toward the door. Spotlight snaps on, music comes up, doors open and there, on her new husband’s arm is Erika in a gorgeous wedding gown. They’re holding a gas torch. She’s beautiful! Photo op. Then Erika and Hiro go to each of the tables in the room with their torch and light the candle in the centerpiece of each one. Each table applauds them as their candle is lit. At the end, they light the candles at the head table, including a heart of candles linked so that when the first is lit all the others light themselves from it.
Then they go to a very tall stack of champagne glasses so arranged that when a bottle of champagne is poured into the top glass the overflow fills all the other glasses in the stack. But this fountain is rigged so that when the champagne hits the second row of glasses it hits artfully placed dry ice and creates a beautiful fog effect. When they return to their seats we toast them with another glass of champagne.
Now the fun is in full swing. Friends start to approach the head table with bottles of beer and top up Hiro’s glass. He manfully tries make room in the glass for more beer to be added. It’s a game, apparently, called Incapacitate the Groom. Everybody knows the rules, I think. Groom drinks as little as humanly possible, many friends quickly replace what little he consumes. Hiro plays well, but it’s a losing game. He’s not known as a drinker and, when his face is roughly tomato red, his friends begin to take pity on him – but not too much.
The party begins to wind down. It was scheduled for two hours, and we’re well over that now. Now the guests receive their gifts. We have already received two envelopes with cash totaling 20% of our cash gift to Hiro and Erika. There’s also a shopping-type bag for each guest (or couple) containing a set of five ceramic plates and matching cups, a variety of edible gifts, and two silk roses. There’s one last photo op, with both sets of parents standing in the limelight on the other side of the room and being saluted by Hiro and Erika. Then Erika and Hiro join them for more pictures and they all leave the room to form one last receiving line to thank the guests for their attendance as they file out of the dining room. Everybody gets an individually wrapped carnation and the party is officially over.
My social adviser was right. It was worth it. We had a meal we couldn’t have bought (had we been so inclined) for ¥20,000, we received gifts worth fully a third of our gift to them, and we had a gen-u-wine Japanese cultural experience. Couldn’t beat that with a stick. Besides, we genuinely like Hiro and Erika and are genuinely happy for them. It was fun to have the opportunity to wish them well on a major event in their lives, and it was an honor to have been asked to contribute to the proceedings.
Observations?
Not many. It was fun, and we approached it on that basis. I noted after it was all over that Erika hadn’t said a word. Hiro had spoken to the assembled throng, but not Erika. He had delivered his own tribute to his parents, but her tribute to her parents, while written by her, was read by the mistress of ceremonies. That seems, in retrospect, rather odd, but defensibly Japanese. On the other hand, Erika was the visual center of attention. Her grand entrances in several different and beautiful dresses guaranteed that she was much more than a hidden appendage.
The wedding was obviously the cultural highlight of our stay in Japan. It was interesting, but it was also lots of just plain fun. The kicker is that three days after the wedding Hiro called us to say that they’d like to visit us after they come back from their honeymoon. I don’t know if it’s a visit required by wedding etiquette (to deliver a set of pictures or something) or if they just want to get away from other social obligations. We’re looking forward to their visit.
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