After a long, arduous journey, snaking through the Malaysian Peninsula with my TC 2005 (Travelling Companion 2005), I decide it was all worth the hassle as I gaze at the bright twinkly island as we approach it on the boat. A health warning should be put up for all those attempting to leg it to Koh Samui indirectly through the south of Thailand. Might I add, that would be a health warning for the multitude of people who helped us get to our destination, to stay away from me, as I was about to beat someone over the head. What was the fuss? Oh nothing much, just a bus from the Malaysian border on to Hat Yai, Thailand. Another 4-hour journey cramped into yet another claustrophobic minivan backseat all the way to Surat Thani, a 3 hour wait at a bus station, and finally an hour’s boat ride across to Koh Samui, which for some reason refused to move any faster than a turtle – I swear I saw one speeding past – even though we were meant to be on the express line. All this in stark contrast to the ease we found in traveling in Malaysia beforehand.
We enter the island and hop on a cab as the sun sets. After half an hour on winding roads, we arrive at the busiest bit of the island, Chaweng Beach. It’s bustling as I expected. Roads lined with KFC, Haagen Dazs and fake Gucci bags and hotel accommodation offices. Our cabby is lovely and he takes us to a few offices to check out what’s on offer before zipping off. Surprisingly, he doesn’t ask for a tip, something we’ve come to expect from ‘nice’ people in Thailand tourist zones. We give him one anyway we’re so overwhelmed by his hospitality. Walking down the street entering one office after another, we start getting a little confused about where the actual chalets are. It turns out the offices lead on to the chalets at the back, which then lead onto the beach. And all the chalets are planned like this, opening out to the beach.
It appears all worth it though once we make it to our chalet. It is the most charming little hut I’ve come across so far. It’s a split-level, and the second floor has a massive double bed with a canopy bed frame. Better still, we walk out to the back, and albeit the tiny little smelly swimming pool we pass on our way to dinner on the beach, the view we come upon is breath taking. The hotel restaurant is literally on the beach. And it’s the same for the next 100 kilometres of beach. Restaurant after restaurant lined up on the beachfront, decorated by soft fairy lights. We eat our food with our feet in the sand, and soothing music plays in the background. It’s not even the cheesy tunes you’d expect…it’s David Gray! Fairy lights twinkle all around us while the breeze from the sea sways in and around our tables. Magical is the word. The DJ plays ‘Babylon’ at one point and it feels like one of the most perfect moments in my life.
Breakfast at the chalet turns out to be even cooler! 99 baht for any 5 items you tick on a form they give you. I order cheese omelette, fruit, pancakes with honey, and baked beans. Each tick on that forms gives me a fresh wave of pleasure, and I decide I could happily live on at this chalet and not see the rest of the island.
But I do get off my bum, and we take a walk down the main street. An mazing jungle trek riding on elephants. That’s what the brochure says in half the stores we come across. It sounds exciting and I decide to give it a shot. TC needs to be convinced a bit, and finally she gives in because I threaten to go for it myself. She treats my claim of wanting to go elephant trekking ‘all my life’ slightly skeptically, but she relents in the end. We pay our 600 baht each (or rather I pay for both of us, that being the deal) and a car comes to pick us up. I’m quite impressed by the car, and give TC a smirk. After about 20 minutes, we reach the elephants. It looks a little empty and I can’t really see anyone else who might be joining us for a trek through the jungles but I remain optimistic all the same. After all, I see elephants don’t I! This time I smirk at TC, albeit less confidently. They get us to the front and we’re lowered on to the back of an elephant, which has a little 2-seater bench strapped to its back. And so our trek begins.
Our mahout turns out to be a cheeky little energetic fella, constantly getting off the elephant and asking us if we want our photos taken. TC and I look at each other but before we can say yes, he grabs the camera and starts clicking away. The entire half hour ride is peppered with his ‘Ooh la la!s’ and ‘Oh my God’s’ as the elephants attempts to walk down steep curves and we’re jutted forward each time holding on for dear life. His cheery behaviour feels slightly darkened by the long rod he holds in his hand, which has a sharp pointy hook at the end with which to poke the elephant each time it disobeys him.
In the end, the ‘trek’ turns out to be a 200-metre walk back and forth from the ‘departure lounge’ we started off from. The waterfall we were promised ends up being a miniature version just behind us, not deep in the heart of the jungle like I expected. Our mahouts cheery behaviour is later explained by his request for some money near the end, ‘Bobo hungry, I hungry, give food eat eat’ and I give him 100 baht as my heart slowly sinks and I see TC clearly ticked off. We spend the ride home with me hearing her I told you so’s and how we’d just contributed to cruelty to elephants. Koh Samui doesn’t feel so magical anymore.
In the evening I cheer myself up with a Thai massage on the BEACH! It is so Globe-Trekker, I HAVE to do it! It seems lovely because the sun is just setting and my masseuse lays me face down on a bed facing the sea. We’re hidden under a big tree so I have no qualms about an outdoor massage. Lost in dreamy thoughts about what to have for dinner, I suddenly feel something bite me on my back. I strain my neck around to look, and horror of all horrors, there’s like 200 mosquitoes swarming over my back! I tell my masseuse and she grabs a towel and swats them away. I lie back down comfortably again. After 2 minutes they’re back again! All the masseuse does is laugh about the ‘kito’s’ and continues massaging me. And there proceeds an hour of agony, constantly flailing my arms and legs rhythmically in order to deter the damn pests from landing on my skin. Needless to say, I don’t get much of a massage. If I’ve learnt anything on this trip, it’s to never get an outdoor massage when the sun’s setting. That’s when the mosquitoes come out.
Nevertheless, that evening we have dinner once again at our chalet. TC and I take a stroll down the beach, taking in all the different restaurants and various menus they offered, fresh from the sea. We stop at a beach party going on at one, and take a seat on a mat laid down on the sand, similar to at least 200 other such mats scattered all around us. We lean back against the little pillows provided, cocktails in our hands and watch the stars as quality house music blasts all around us. Not so much a mad beach foam party, but more chilled, very Koh Samui, very perfect.
Koh Samui may not be the same as it was 20 years ago, but it’s still special. It has people, it has vibrancy and it has colour. Even if it isn’t nature at its best, the human interference still manages to create amazing ambience.
The magical getaway I expected? Not quite. Still absolutely worth it? Definitely.
